Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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