So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
