i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
