She's like a pop up book from hell.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize