Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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