So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
