just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
