His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
