you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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