he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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