you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
