I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
