And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
