erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week š
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being āgoodā and 10 being ābanging a studentās fatherā, how bad is it that Iām banging a studentās father?
Randomize
