Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
