from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize