I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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