Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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