we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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