Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize