It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize