i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
