I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
