I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
