Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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