so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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