It was confusing and full of hummus
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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