i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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