I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
