Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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