the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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