pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
