she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
