I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it wasn't lemon gatorade
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
