I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
