Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
