That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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