He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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