ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize