So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
