I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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