so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
