i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
