Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
