I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she smelled like a LAN party
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
