The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize