dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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