did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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