sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
