I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We have so much sex to catch up on
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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