call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
