All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Randomize
