how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
