Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
