I can tuck mytits in my pants
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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