just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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