The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
