lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize