i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
