Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
