he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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