butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
