So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
