I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
