so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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