my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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