i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize