We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
