I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
