my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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