somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My brain says no but my pants say off.
so let's talk penis.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
