Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
