living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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