playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
