The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
